On getting older and chasing new dreams

The world is different...but I feel the same.

Here’s the thing- in many ways, I feel the same as I did at 24, sitting in a coffeeshop in Toronto, wondering what to do with my life…wondering when things would happen for me. I have the same awe for the possibilities of the world, the same fears and anxious anticipation of the future.

Except, I’m 38 now. Things did happen for me. I became a foreign correspondent, then came home and started a nonprofit communications career. I met my husband on a work trip to Bolivia. We got married and moved to Ottawa, lost our first baby and gave birth to our beautiful son. We sold everything and moved here to the East Coast to be with family. I’ve had dozens of jobs as a teacher, writer, beauty advisor, image consultant and florist. I’ve had a big, beautiful life so far.

But the world is different now than when I was 24. My PR career has stalled- at least through the typical corporate avenues - and, as a working mom, I’m not sure I want it back. House prices are skyrocketing, and we’re having to fight for our dream of home ownership. My priorities have shifted from big adventures to quiet moments at home in the trees with those I love.

And yet, I am still sitting in the coffeeshop wondering when things will happen- wondering if the new dreams I have (a house, a business, a bigger family, trips with loved ones) can happen in this economy. I am the same dreamer I was, just with more experience and (many) more grey hairs.

In my 20s, when the “typical” career avenues remained closed, I trusted the Lord and then made things happen. I knocked on doors until I got a job at a news website in Tunisia. I saved my pennies and bought the plane ticket and left with two suitcases and big dreams.

That might be the answer here as well. It might be time to stop looking for answers on Linkedin and build my own kind of future. My life has never been cookie cutter, so I shouldn’t be expecting that from my career growth.

Are you feeling the same? I know there must be fellow Millennials out there feeling uninspired and frustrated by the lack of opportunities and growth in our jobs. This isn’t the life we were promised when we took out those student loans. And I think it’s past time to let those promises go and make our own - that we’ll chase bigger and better dreams, ones that we build ourselves.